


i found me in you

by Lilywastaken



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Secret Crush, jisung is insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28034349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilywastaken/pseuds/Lilywastaken
Summary: jisung is fifteen when he asks minho if he can kiss him. because jisung has never kissed a boy. never kissed anyone. and he's curious. and he thinks if he has to choose he'd rather have the pretty boy with the pretty eyes and pretty nose be his first.jisung has never kissed anyone. but he's pretty sure kissing his best friend isn't supposed to feel this right.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 8
Kudos: 181





	i found me in you

jisung is fifteen when he asks minho if he can kiss him. because jisung has never kissed a boy. never kissed anyone. and he's curious. and he thinks if he has to choose he'd rather have the pretty boy with the pretty eyes and pretty nose be his first.

and surely the erratic beating of his heart when minho gets closer to him doesn't mean anything right? his sweaty palms grabbing his jeans when minho's close enough they can feel each other breaths' on their lips, is only due to the temperature of the room right?

it definitely has nothing to do with how the older boy looks into his eyes. nothing to do with the softness of his lips on his and how jisung feels fireworks in his belly when their lips move against each other.

but perhaps it has something to do with the way minho's hands tangle in his hair and the chills it sends down his back at the touch. jisung feels like every inch of his skin minho touches is lit on fire.

jisung has never kissed anyone. but he's pretty sure kissing his best friend isn't supposed to feel this right.

jisung is seventeen when minho stays up all night with him while he writes lyrics in the studio. he's been there for hours, losing sleep working on songs. minho's laid out on the sofa and he's struggling to keep his eyes open. jisung pours his heart into the lyrics he's writing. all the words he knows he can never say. he writes them. all the things minho can never know. 

they didn't kiss again after jisung's first time. jisung hasn't kissed anyone ever since. the only one he's ever wanted to kiss is minho but he can't. he can't do it anymore. because minho is minho. his best friend. his bandmate. 

minho stays by his side whenever he works late. even though he falls asleep on the couch waiting for him. jisung likes to takes breaks from writing lyrics to just watch him. the way his hair falls softly in front of his eyes and his soft regular breathing. his delicate eyelashes brushing against his cheeks. jisung wants to kiss him again. instead, he goes back to his laptop and pours out his frustration. 

he's too immersed in frantically typing away on his keyboard that he jumps when he feels a head suddenly settle on his shoulder and minho's sleepy voice whining 'jisungie let's go to beddd'. jisung tries really hard to stop it. he does. but the beating of his heart against his chest is so loud he's worried even minho can hear it. 

when they go to bed that night and minho cuddles into his side, jisung wishes he could tell him. how much he wants to hold him. kiss him. 

instead, he keeps quiet and watches the way the moonlight shines on minho's pretty face. if it can always stay like this, with minho by his side, then jisung won't change a thing. he won't tell him the words and the feelings that make his heart heavy. he's grateful he has him like this. and it's okay if it's never anything more. 

jisung is eighteen when minho's teaching him how to dance in the studio. the way minho moves when he dances is mesmerizing and jisung can't stop watching him. the fluidity of his movements, the easiness with which he executes the choreographies like his limbs are just moving on their own. jisung thinks he must have been born to dance.

while they’re practicing, there’s a move jisung can’t quite get right, something with the rhythm, the flow of it. it just doesn’t work. he stops for a while, hands on his knees for support, trying to catch his breath and he pushes the frustration away. why can’t he get it  _ right _ ? as he’s trying to pull himself back together he feels a hand on his shoulder. “you gotta bring your arms in closer to your chest for that move” minho says. and it’s not judgmental or critical, he just wants to help him. jisung nods, a little breathless, and watches as minho repeats the move, showing him what he means. jisung follows, trying to mimic what he does and apply the advice minho gives him. 

when they stop dancing, hours later, minho's sweaty and breathless, and jisung can't take his eyes off him. the way his hair sticks to his forehead. the way the sweat beads on his temples and down the side of his face. the way his shirt sticks to his back and how he has to stop in the middle of his sentences to catch his breath. the way he brings his bottle to his mouth and lets the water flow down his throat, some of it falling from his lips and dripping down his neck. the way he jokingly winks at jisung when he catches him staring and jisung averts his eyes, blush spreading on his cheeks. 

when they go back to the dorm together later that night, pressed close to each other under the single umbrella they brought to the practice room, jisung’s too aware of minho’s body heat against his side. it’s a cold night, and he would be shivering if it weren’t for minho’s presence. even though his shoes and part of his sweater are drenched from the pouring rain, jisung wishes the walk back to the dorm would never end. the quietude and silence of the night, walking through the deserted streets of seoul at this early hour of the morning. it’s all calming, and almost eerie. jisung feels at peace. if he wanted he could just reach out and hold minho’s hand. no one would see, no one would care. jisung stops himself just inches away from his hand as if coming back to his senses. he can’t. 

minho’s the one who grabs his hand that night, his fingers feel warm laced with jisung’s own freezing ones. jisung looks up at him, his eyes wide, not knowing how to react. minho doesn’t say anything, looking in front of him as they walk hand in hand. jisung’s heartbeat speeds up but he says nothing, not wanting to break the atmosphere that had settled between them. letting go of minho’s hand is probably one of the hardest things jisung does that night, and he hopes the next time, if there’s a next time, he won’t have to let go. 

jisung is nineteen when he confesses. it’s april 4th 2019. their first win. and he’s a little too drunk on the feeling of euphoria. they’re back at the dorm and jisung’s laying on his bed looking at the ceiling unable to come down from his high. minho’s sitting at the end of his bed and jisung doesn’t know why he suddenly asks that question. but before he can stop himself he already has. there’s a moment of silence before minho replies.

‘you're really asking me if i remember the first time we kissed?’ he chuckles. 

jisung swings his legs over the side of the bed so they’re sitting next to each other. he lowers his head,  _ yeah it was stupid _ . minho's probably kissed many other people. why would he remember kissing jisung over four years ago? 

'of course i do jisung, how could I forget?'

jisung doesn't reply to minho's question. he's too focused on the beating of his heart thumping inside his skull. if he doesn't say it now he might never say it again. 

'i think i like you, hyung. no, actually i don't think i - i know i do. i’ve liked you for years now. i probably shouldn't be telling you all this now but i’ve kept it secret for too long and i need to let it out. you don't have to reciprocate you don't even have to answer, you can walk away right now i won't mind i’ll pretend like nothing happened if you want-'

jisung had started speaking too fast. his hands and voice shaking. he only interrupts himself when he feels minho's hands closing around his own. he looks up at him confused. 

'jisung, hey, it's okay. me too. i like you too.' 

jisung's too taken aback to say anything, his eyes are wide and he waits for minho to say something more. anything. to make sure he heard it right. 

'i didn't wanna push any boundaries but i’ve wanted to kiss you multiple times in the past four years… but every time i tried being more than a friend i… i felt like i couldn't reach you. you were always distant.'

'i didn't think you- idiot you could have said something sooner…' jisung can't think of anything else to say. 

'oh i’m the idiot?' minho laughs, his clear loud laugh that always does something to jisung's heart, 'you could have said something sooner too!!' 

'i didn't wanna ruin our friendship, i thought you’d hate me-’ 

minho smiles softly and places a finger under his chin. he raises jisung’s head so they’re looking into each other’s eyes. this time jisung doesn’t look away.

'han jisung, i could never hate you,' 

jisung is nineteen when he kisses minho for the second time. it’s exactly as he remembered it and yet it feels totally new to him. he had missed the feeling of minho’s lips on his. this time it’s not butterflies spreading in his stomach but warmth, safety,  _ love _ . because they’re not kids anymore. because they grew up. together. they’re adults now, aware of their feelings. aware of the meaning of their actions. the kiss they share this time echoes the words they don’t say out loud. 

  
_ i’ll stay by your side _ .

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it!!! it's a short little thing i wrote bc im a sucker for this type of trope wdsjhd  
> (this is mostly dedicated to ashley <33 ilysm)


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